Salam,
I've been thinking lately. What would I be, if I didn't take this road I'm taking right now. Would I be someone whom I've never thought of being? Would I be just like what I am right now? Or would I be someone whom people always told me to be or what they thought I would be?
Truth be told, I don't even know what life I'm living right now. Whether this is what I've always wanted or not. Have all the dreams that I've been dreaming of become real. Have I come closer to them? Or I'm still chasing them in my dream?
I ain't complaining, I'm just confused.
This life is confusing and I'm in dazed. Life is good right now. Good as in 'biasa je, I can still survive another year or so' hahahaha. The heartbreaks that I've been through has outnumbered the happiness that I've experienced of course. But I can still survive. I need to live. I need to live. I need to live. I need to stay strong.
I really wanted to meet someone who is living the dreams that they have always wanted. Without pain, and just be happy as they live. I wanted to know their secrets to life. How I wish I could. I wanted to be like them.
The life I'm living in right now, I know that I should feel grateful. Maybe this is the best that I deserved? I don't know. But I should just keep on living until my time has come.
I just need to follow what has been given to me and improvised. And complete all the good things that have been taught to me to complete my deen.
To be a better me, better daughter, better friend, better student, better Muslim.
This post is all mixed up because I have a lot to say in my mind but I just don't know where to begin and where to stop. But this is all I got for now.
Happy reading and have a good day sahabat.